someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
