I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
