How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize