shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I am available for nakedness
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
