we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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