I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
