What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
