is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Randomize
