I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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