You just made me feel so damn special
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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