So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
