I just cut my nipple shaving
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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