Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
