You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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