did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
