No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
