when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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