THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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