To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
