The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Actions speak louder than pants.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
