you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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