Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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