I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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