yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
