Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
