Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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