If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
