it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
