No stitches, just platelets and will power
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
