3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
well you can't waste a boner
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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