just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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