well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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