Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
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