I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
