well most of my day revolves around power hour
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
