What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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