i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
