probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
