If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize