physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
