FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
