God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
It's never too late to be topless.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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