there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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