i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
