so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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