I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I think your dad took our porno
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
