Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
