Dual....:-)
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
