She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
