I wish I could punch you in the face.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
