dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
